Its going to be another lonely night again , my phone just stand still , no vibration like it used to be when the clock strikes 9 .
this week , today , tomorrow , or probably forever , it wouldnt anymore
I still do not know what made you change, because i kept true to my promise , i waited for your 6days to end so that you could come back and everything would be the same again.
Its not really like i have no choice you know, just like other girls, i do have. but i chose you , and i stayed on , no matter how tough it goes.
Sometimes you would go on for days not contacting me and then came back again like nothing has happen.
And i m not silly. i know what have you been doing , but because the reassurance came from you , i trusted you.
i Still remember the one Heart to heart talk we once had , the only time you have been serious with me.
you told me about your past , your exs, the girl you once like but was afraid to have , and everything under the moon.
You totally opened up your heart and talk to me , i m really glad.
And that night we talk about your impression about me , and i dont know if all those was true , but it made me happy that all you think of me is positive.
i m happy to made such an impression on you.
and after that night , being together with you seems so near and so real.
you are all i think about everyday , every night ,
every day i just want to talk to you more and more , i want to hear your deep manly voice. it seems so scary to me i m starting to fall in really deep .
and i dont know if you felt the same way too , or you just wna act along with me to make me happy
After that night , we got more close , it seems whenever i m sad , i have you. and you would put up with my temperament and rantings which you wouldnt in the past ,
and when i argue with my close ones , you were there for me. You gave me advice, you cheer me up .
Sometimes during that period. though i have lost my sisters for a short while , it was still a happy time , because there was you.
What changed? a short 6 days? Why have you lead me on and then let go when i thought everything was going so well.
Is there another R in between us?
i m really not used to being without you , your messages , your assurance and your deep mesmerizing voice.
i miss you in the day , i miss you more in the night , i miss having you around , i miss all that.
Everyday since you stop contacting me , i never once stop thinking about you.
Its hard to let go.
& i m stuck.
i m living in denial. I m Still hoping you would text me again.
Everyday i just live life like its normal. not much that ranting , no tears , just smile and work.
Evryday , i m still waiting for the same old timing for you to text me .
But every passing day . it has become more clearer for me to see you are really leaving.
And its really hard to hold on. i feel like breaking down. i feel like crying , i dont want to be strong , i dont want to smile anymore.
Why ? Why are you treating me like this.
I know deep inside you, you must know i like you.
& If you didnt feel back the same way , you wouldnt have open up to me , wouldnt have carry on talking to me and getting closer to me right?
So why? why did you change?
Should i really forget about you and move on.
Is this really the best for us both ?
Tags: heart to heart, rantings
heh heh.
