Tumblr Reblog/ My feelings.

30 Jan

 

Valentine is near , 
So what you readers doing? Spending it with someone special?

Well, for me , its gonna be another work day, thn i will go and watch gore movie alone , home and tumblr. 
Sounds like a perfect idea for singles?
Hmmm. Or pathetic? 
What are you readers gonna do?
So by the way , fyi , i hate valentine day . Always do. I don`t and never will understand why people actually care about this day so much
if you are in love , everyday will be a valentine for you.
Alright , maybe i m just jealous. whatever .  

And ,  i m not very fine trying to forget A either , 
Sometimes a song reminds me of him , sometimes road name ,
I feel so much like giving up , and going back to him again , 
But part of me knows its not right , and yes , so everyday i need to force myself to forget him , even though probably one thousand replays of our past is replaying ,
Its killing me you know.
Kills me to act that i dont give a damn about you anymore,
Truth is , i still care , how could i not? How could a person just forget someone this easily.
Not for me, i m superbly emotionally attached to almost anyone , anything.
I guess , i cant fall. i guess i need to try to put a lock to my heart.
But well. i miss you. & sometimes. i really hate myself so much for loving you this much.

Happy Chinese New year! (:

29 Jan

Hi readers, so its like Dragon year huh finally.
My favourite animal other thn goat, cos i m in love with like mythical creature and according to many many chinese shows , Dragon are consider mythical and even godly.
hmm. mmm.
Anw before i get side tracked too much. Heres some updates on my CNY.

初一,woke up late and groomed and prepared myself for yipo house ,
& Met emily there , (Nt my babe , but my childhood good friend)
Was abit . kinda awkward for both of us , as yeah, we have grown , and sadly topics have outgrown too.
We have almost sat in silence for like. uh, 30 mins with a bit of , uh. oh hmm. here and there.
Major awkwardness. and i m the one who asked her to be there.
Anyway. most of the relative of yipo said i m giantly tall. which kinda like … confused for me.
Since i m only 164.
& Some of the really no sense one pop up questions of boyf,which kinda suckass since i dont have one. But still i think i score with my sarcastic answer.
:D heh heh.
Anw i wore yellow toga this day. & I LOVE THAT TOGA (: 25 BUCKS.
GOOD BUGIS BUYSSSSS ,
sadly no pict for that since my eyes look droopy. but well. i would post a picture of that dress soon (:

初二,
Woke up early  , went to godfather house to bai nian.
and then uncle`s house.
gambled abit with cousin friends . and i saw my ridiculously-cute cousin.
Which i wonder why he has that mix blood look and i dont?
Unfair much ):
Then to lou hei with my family.
(:


Obviously very low quality photo , but i love my dad so i m posting it up <3

初三,
Hubbers came my house for mahjong ,
Zen, irene ,  Tun Jiang and irene boyf.
irene and irene boyf came and win my 70 bucks away.
Damn ):
But still a fun gathering night. without alcohol for the first time of our gathering.
hehehehe,

Looking all sorts of seh after mj session *.*

So anyway. thats all for the major days of new year , Upload abit on days with my girls later on , because i needa off comp and get to sleep now ):
Nights readers :D
U know i love you. xoxo.

Uhm and just so you know , nobody has ask me out on valentine yet.
And ….. i m feeling so horrible now ):
Fuck it.   

i FUCKING HATE VALENTINE ! FUCKING HATE!

A brand new Dragon year is coming.

22 Jan

Hi in a pretty excited mood now , 
Because of the upcoming arrival of Dragon new year.
And also mainly because of the many angbaos i m going to recieve.
Anyone would like to invite me over?
HEHEHE. cant wait for Mahjong session too :)

Anyway. went out with my emily babe to bugis for our last minute shopping
And she got herself a dress and wedge
while me , being impulsive shopper.
I got 3 dress, 1 heels. and 3 belt which i havent even ask them to punch the holes for me.. 
Which equates to useless belt for the time being.
Anyway , left bugis around 5 plus as em girl was complaining of hot and since i got most stuffs, agree to go raffles earlier to meet my seller for my tube dress!  
So well. reached raffles,&slacked at starbucks,
People watching most of the time.
and i love people watching.
Aside from all the hotties you can see,
Its mainly more about the study of human behaviour, seeing those anxious face of Office people as they rush for the peak hour train , and those teenagers wearing styles and sexy clothes ready for their friday party.
Its really fun guessing where those people are going, and i had fun with emily discussing about them
and hearing her . “Complications”
Well. as much as i loved to be there for her. sometimes. her problems still remind me of A.
That aside.
here are some of the pictures.

 

 

I lost my trust in. guys.
No matter how hot/Pretty your girlf is,
you still cheat , dont you?
I pitied us girls, Girls like me especially,
But well. this is the last time i ever will trust anymore
Happy cny wrong ones. 
And . right one. happy cny no matter where you are. 
Please find me soon enough and let me regain my trust. for all. 

Serious backache

18 Jan

 

Hi readers, 
Back to blog again,
Having major lower backache. Normal? 

Anyway , will be constantly blogging this few days. As sometimes , i just find blogging is the only way that i can express myself now/ relieve my stress.
As i grow up , i just dont find talking to people fun anymore , nor am i communicating much with people nowadays.
Is it just me? or is this the growing up phase?

Well. Anyway . work today was alright, Bought a new dress online and i cant wait to meet the seller on friday to get it .
Not to mention that , friday is my shopping day with my em babe !
I m so excited for it !
Well tomorrow another day at work , but the only difference is . My in charge is on long break !
So that only means PAR,PAR PAR PARTAYYYYE!
(:

Well. before i end ,
heres a picture that i personally love like mad (:


Love my emily girl to bits bits <3

 

 

& I m currently having hots for policemen. 
Especially chubby ones.
Oopssss ;D

 

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Previous post.

16 Jan

So, i have set a password in regards to the previous post.
Reason being , i dont want to seem like i m attention seeking. and i do not want people to symphatize with me ,
Nor judge him base on my side of story.
And just in case one day he did chance upon my site, and really wanna read that letter.
Great , its your name.
password is your name (:

And thanks for annon very harsh comment about me being still a little girl and naive in love.
And also, that i m a pathetic being.
Well yes , i admit to the fact that i m a pathetic being searching for love.
Arent you? And if you want to say something about me, why stay annon?

Xoxo.

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Protected: Unsend letter.

15 Jan

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In another life i will make you stay

15 Jan

Hi readers, another week of not posting . 
well i just do not have the time as works is piling up like hills over my office.
and i`ve been really busy with outings with my girls
Anw. its been a week, hasnt it , since i said i wna give up.
well. truth to be told. i still hasnt really got over him yet.
Everyday , he is the first to come to my mind when i wake up. and he is also the person i think of before i drift off to my dreamland.
Everyday i wonder , will he call again , and when saturday came , my misses for him grows strong as he is the person to morning call me for work in the past , or text me to accompany pass my time.
And i misses those morning texts , misses those calls , his deep manly voice with a lil smile i can detect while asking me to wake up. 
i miss youA , And often i wonder , did i ever cross your mind too? because you seem to be living well without my texts , without my concern and my voice.

Am i that easy for you to forget?
does those conversations means nothing to you at all? 
I feel so much like you will one day see my blog, see how much do i miss you , see how much i crack my brain just to send a single reply to you in order for our convo to continue. see how much i really like you. and how much i wna be with you.
Everyday , all i want is for me to miss you a little lesser .
i`ve been finding subs for you since u left me one week ago.
and all i ever see in them is you. i would compare. i keep comparing . it seems like i want to find someone exactly like you. and the rest wont do.
Its really clear to me now. Maybe i should stop finding love.
Because in the end. all i do is hurting them and hurt myself.
Maybe. yes , now i should really , stop and instead let love find me on its own?
…. 

Oh hi .

10 Jan

What life is truly is. 

Oh hi readers , been so long since i last posted. 
or was it not that long?
well. just here to keep you guys updated about me and A, whom i now renamed as “someone i would seriously pushed into singapore river” 
So well , looking by the nickname you would have guessed that things are pretty bad between us. 
well , anyway. we are not contacting since new year eve , when he practically stood me up in like last minute.
and ,  anyway the date was asked by him , i seriously have no idea why he would stood up someone he initially asked to go out at the first place. very bravo A, 
You just seriously show me i m a fucking life buoy in ur army days.
& once you got your freedom , i m nothing. i meant nothing.
And yes now i know i meant nothing. i`ve slowly come to terms with that. 
so yes, i m willing to let you go now ,
i tried my best , gave my all and now i m gng to leave w no regrets.
Aint turning back no more
And i wish you all the best , and i hope your “Mrs Right” Radar would ring soon. and hopefully the girl can give you everything you want , and most importantly let you feel the love which i failed to let you feel. 
Well. enough of the emo nemo post , i guess i m really alright after days of rantings.
so well. here goes a little  update on my life.
which kind of average? since i m a busy OL which leads “Laticia” Life
My date for Christmas night – My best bud bud <3
Suppose to meet him at 4. But i was just starting to prepare at 4, thus he cab all the way down to my house to wait for me.
Awwwwh. hehehehe,
Anyway, went vivo had dinner which all the restaurant was packed, and ss tei which i crave for so much is on full house and queue is long like ………………………………………  So we went aoba, & i like the food there (:
 shopz shopz before returning to westmall for Alvin and the chipmunk3.
Which i think simon is so very very cute ^^
the movie just make me crave to have a cute hamster. hehehehe. alright . enough of girly side.
i need to call jo now. Will leave my new year eve for later updates.
have a good wednesday which well, spells ladies night people ;D
Xoxo.

It isnt true.

14 Dec

Its going to be another lonely night again , my phone just stand still , no vibration like it used to be when the clock strikes 9 .
 this week , today , tomorrow , or probably forever , it wouldnt anymore 
I still do not know what made you change, because i kept true to my promise , i waited for your 6days to end so that you could come back and everything would be the same again. 
Its not really like i have no choice you know, just like other girls,  i do have. but i chose you , and i stayed on , no matter how tough it goes. 
Sometimes you would go on for days not contacting me and then came back again like nothing has happen. 
And i m not silly. i know what have you been doing , but because the reassurance came from  you , i trusted you. 
i Still remember the one Heart to heart talk we once had , the only time you have been serious with me.
you told me  about your past , your exs, the girl you once like but was afraid to have , and everything under the moon. 
You totally opened up your heart and talk to me , i m really glad.
And that night we talk about your impression about me , and i dont know if all those was true , but it made me happy that all you think of me is positive. 
i m happy to made such an impression on you.
and after that night , being together with you seems so near and so real.
you are all i think about everyday , every night ,
every day i just want to talk to you more and more , i want to hear your deep manly voice. it seems so scary to me i m starting to fall in really deep .
and i dont know if you felt the same way too , or you just wna act along with me to make me happy
After that night , we got more close , it seems whenever i m sad , i have you. and you would put up with my temperament and rantings which you wouldnt in the past ,
and when i argue with my close ones , you were there for me. You gave me advice, you cheer me up .
Sometimes during that period. though i have lost my sisters for a short while , it was still a happy time , because there was you.
What changed? a short 6 days? Why have you lead me on and then let go when i thought everything was going so well.
Is there another R in between us?
i m really not used to being without you , your messages , your assurance and your deep mesmerizing voice.
i miss you in the day , i miss you more in the night , i miss having you around , i miss all that.
Everyday since you stop contacting me , i never once stop thinking about you.
Its hard to let go.
& i m stuck.
i m living in denial. I m Still hoping you would text me again.
Everyday i just live life like its normal. not much that ranting , no tears , just smile and work.
Evryday , i m still waiting for the same old timing for you to text me .
But every passing day . it has become more clearer for me to see you are really leaving.
And its really hard to hold on. i feel like breaking down. i feel like crying , i dont want to be strong , i dont want to smile anymore.
Why ? Why are you treating me like this.
I know deep inside you, you must know i like you.
& If you didnt feel back the same way , you wouldnt have open up to me , wouldnt have carry on talking to me and getting closer to me right?
So why? why did you change?
Should i really forget about you and move on.
Is this really the best for us both ?
 

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Can i have you for christmas?

11 Dec

Hello People. Cheeky blog tittle to get your attentions. 
well do i get some nw?
Anyway off on friday and went out w my sissys to shopping after my dental appointment
im strictly on whitening teeth schedule now.
Very determined to make my teeth as sunshine as possible
bling bling*

Anyway here are some overdued photos.
and did i mention that jojoyee got a haircut , and she look super chic now!
Love her bob (:

 

Fooooddd. this was the Jap restaurant deal em girl and me bought over Groupon ,
AND well.. the food is quite worth th price.
Felt damn bloated that day and even skip dinner.
Would def go back even without groupon.
Its just 30 bucks. i think
groupon becomes 22.
Hahhh. worth it eh (;

The girl with her bob hair , and me w my long hair .
Wonder when would i get the courage to snip them off.
LOLLL.

Anyway. he is back from his field camp
And he sort of forget everything he promised before he went in
I dk what makes him change . but i m sure nothing will go back as before.
maybe this is the sign for me to wake up and leave.
Yes?

 

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